The End of a Birthday [Robert short story]

As the door clicked shut behind him, the house welcomed Robert with a stillness in direct contrast to the event he had just left. The faint clink of his keys as they landed on the entry table was the only sound in the otherwise silent house. That, and the wearied sigh leaving his lips.

What a night. Usually, when Robert came home thinking that, it was with a swell of pride. Tonight, though, it was with a hollow sense of disconnection.

He loosened his tie with a sharp tug, the silk slipping through his fingers like water. He slipped off his polished oxfords and left them abandoned by the door. His feet sank into the coolness of the tile floor, grounding him momentarily as he made his way to the kitchen. He made sure to move quietly and didn’t bother turning on the light, knowing the room well enough to navigate it with just the soft glow of the moon filtering through the window.

The faucet squeaked as he turned it on, the stream of water hitting the glass with a sharp clink that echoed in the stillness. He wasn’t drunk, not really, but his head felt thick, like it was stuffed with cotton. The water was cold, crisp as it slid down his throat, but it did little to clear the fog in his mind. He stared at the glass, tracing the condensation with his thumb.

What a chaotic, tumultuous, congratulations-you’ve-hit-rock-bottom night. Happy birthday to me, I guess, he thought to himself as he raised the glass to his lips for another sip.

“Dad?”

The glass stopped at Robert’s lips. Melissa’s voice from her room was soft, barely more than a croak, but it was filled with an urgency that jolted him back to full awareness.

Robert set the glass down and walked hurriedly towards her room, though making sure not to step too loudly down on the hardwood floor as to not wake up Veronica. Melissa’s door, a home-made drawing with her name written on it in pink pasted on to it, stood ajar. He nudged it further open and stepped in. Through the darkness he saw Melissa sitting up in her bed, her legs tangled in the twisted blankets as if she had been thrashing around in her sleep. She turned her head to look at him when he entered and as his eyes adjusted to the dark room, he saw her lips trembling. His heart pained at the sight.

“Aw, Sweetie,” he said softly, “Had a bad dream?”

Melissa shook her head and as she did, a sob broke free. “My head hurts,” she said, her voice breaking at the end, and then, her eyes could no longer contain her tears, leaving them dripping down her cheeks.

Oh dear. Robert instantly forgot about his own worries and rushed to bed to comfort her. The mattress dipped slightly as he sat down and put his arm around her.

Robert's arm barely had time to rest around Melissa’s small shoulders before she recoiled as if his touch had burned her. She cried louder, her voice rising to a panicked pitch. Robert had never seen her like this before, and his own unease grew.

“Hon-“

“It’s getting worse!” Melissa shrieked, pressing her hands to her temples. Her fingers dug into her scalp as if trying to hold her head together.

“Shh, sweetie, you’ll wake up mom.” Robert whispered, but even as the words left his mouth, a pang of guilt struck him. How could that be his first concern? Yet, the thought of facing Veronica right now was too much to bear. He promised himself he’d deal with that tomorrow—when his birthday was over, when everything could go back to normal.

He pushed the thought away, focusing on Melissa. It was probably just her first migraine, he reassured himself. Painful, yes—heart-wrenching to witness and likely mindbreaking for her to experience—but nothing more than that. Nothing to worry about.

“Stay right there,” he said and stood up from the bed, “I’ll get you some painkillers and-“

“No, Daddy!” Melissa’s voice was desperate as she reached out and grabbed his hand, her small fingers wrapping around his like a vise.

And then it hit him.

A sudden drop through his body, the feeling similar to when sitting on an airplane as it levels off after climbing. A nausea-inducing sensation of his inner being peeled from him, as if something vital had been yanked out, leaving an emptiness that chilled him to the bone.

Just as quickly as it began, it was over; Melissa tore her hands away from him and he felt his essence surge back into him, like a taut cord snapping back into position. A faint dizziness, like the lingering effect of motion sickness, was all that remained.  

For a moment, there was nothing but silence. Melissa’s eyes were wide with terror, her hands trembling as they hovered near her chest. “Dad, I—”

She knew. Despite her young age, she knew. Robert’s heart sank to the ground, shattered by the impact of the fall. He knew too. The realization hit him like a punch to the gut, the world spinning out of control as the truth settled in.

He could have laughed at the irony if it hadn’t been so God awful.

Melissa's face crumpled, and she began to cry so hard that her whole body trembled. Quickly, instinctively, Robert sat down again, wrapping his arms tightly around her and hugging her into his body.

“Shh, sweetie, it’s okay. You’re okay.” He closed his eyes, resting his chin on top of her head, feeling the dampness of her tears soak through his shirt.

Her sobs continued, muffled into his chest. “D-dad, I’m scared,” Melissa choked out through them.

Robert inhaled sharply through his nose to keep himself from sobbing as well. By Iosta, he was scared too.

He tightened his embrace and held her shaking body close. “It’s okay. It’s okay,” was all he whispered, on and on in tandem to her sobs. When that no longer felt like the truth, he turned to: “It’ll be okay.” It didn’t take long for the certainty of those words to falter too, but this time, he kept repeating them. Over and over again, as a mantra. “It will be okay.”

Melissa’s sobs quieted and she fell asleep to those words. Robert kept repeating them, this time in hopes of believing them himself.